sound

his voice held no self assurance, it quavered
it was so odd listening to my child on the phone
i actually listened not just to what he was saying
but to his voice

his voice was very odd, different
not like at any other time
i call him or talk to him

he did not sound good
ever talked to someone who did not feel safe where they were at?

that was the sound of his voice
he knew his dad wasn't going to help him and he was asking me for help

and all he needed was help with a computer game...............

silence

silence

no doors banging
no chatter
no yelling
no little paws or elephant stomping
no squeals
no beep bop boooop
no skids on cement
no bounces
no box
no jam
no slam
no icks
no ticks
no tocks

stillness
36 hours

silence

no mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,moooooooooom
in all of it's different inclinations

stillness
instant
5:10pm

my ears are in shock, like after a long car drive
eardrums: throb, pulsate, numb, fuzzy, swollen

appreciate the noise
of 300 hours

a large pot of boiling water + (?) for dinner

i had no idea what to make for dinner, i wanted to make fish cakes, but the ones i like have potatoes and since there are no potatoes in the house so that was nixed

so i put 2 quarts of water to boil and decided to rummage in the fridge --- lol

in went white rice -- didn't measure wish i would have added more i was hoping for the consistency of pilaf
red lentils
amaranth
broccoli - chopped up
carrots diced
red pepper diced
a package of powdered onion soup
parsley
frozen precooked shrimp
frozen sweet corn
a pat of butter (that's about a table spoon or so :)

wish i had some cannoli beans (white beans) but i used those up the other day, vegetable stock in stead of the onion soup, and some chopped up dinner sausage, oh and brown rice but i have to use up the white somewhere

the whole thing smells great, and a preliminary taste confirmed it :) -- just needs salt

and dinner is ready in under an hour

too many irons in the fire

wow, i've got my house garden going, my community garden just got tilled, it's huge!!!!!! and if my neighbor doesn't get one for herself this year she is going to share mine :), we are finishing school for the year, i'm trying to plan next year, i still want to work on the religous ed committee at church, i want to take up on old hobby (sca), fix the house, and do the usual raise children, make dinner, have a life, fix a broken heart --- and so on and so on -- date? are you kidding i live a monastic life -- sigh hangs head in shame - rofl!!!! oh yea and play wow once in a while

i got the list of camp / activity dates off to my x -- so if he wants to have the children for a while this summer he can plan it, if not it doesn't matter they are busy and they will see him on their regularly scheduled dates

and i'm finally to the point where i need, or don't need, I HAVE TO!!!! do something about the house so it will be either:

A Clean Heart

or

Grand Plan

Katie Leckey the author of the Grand Plan had a new idea for de-cluttering called 'cubic clutter busting' up on her web site a few years ago, I really liked the idea so I might try to incourporate it as well -- it is no longer on her web site, but the idea was to set up a sorting area, go to the place you wanted to de-clutter, remove what didn't belong and in your sorting area have boxes ready to sort stuff into -- ok i might not be explaining it very well - lol

but i have an extra 'room' we are currently not using very well, and i think i can use it to sort stuff for a yard sale.